Prince William has a shiny new helicopter that he simply cannot quit showing off. Of course the British tabloids are having a field day with this, they seem to have a field day with anything the royal family does. I’m surprised they don’t follow them right into the toilet. The newest outrage is that he landed his helicopter in a field outside of his girlfriend’s house. Now of course most guys, when they get a new ride pull up outside of the favorite babes house just to show it off. It seems that just because he’s a prince, he’s no different than the rest of us. “Hi, sweetheart check out the new ride. It’s even got chrome headers and wheels.” Now understand, this is a military helicopter from the Royal Air Force and the Prince has just graduated as a chopper pilot earlier this month.  Thus the flap. Some are saying that it’s frivolous use of military resources. Hey, wake up. He owns it. He’s the Prince. It’s still a monarchy, the chopper belongs to him. Besides, I probably would have done the same thing. This can only make him look hot. It’s not everybody that can buzz by in his own chopper that’s armed to the teeth. “Hey babe, anybody bothers you, you just give me a call. I got it covered.” It gives a whole new meaning to don’t mess with my girl. Now the other incident he’s being criticized for is picking his brother Harry up in the chopper and flying over to a bachelor party. Now there is no way this is not a hit at a bachelor party. I’ve been to them, we would have loved to have a helicopter. Strippers, booze, porno videos and a helicopter with a rocket launcher, how is this not cool. We might even have gotten drunk and fired that puppy off a couple of times. “Oops, was that the neighbor’s new snowmobile.?” “He’s going to miss that.”All William is doing is proving he’s human like the rest of us and would like to have a good time. I think if American politicians would lighten up and do some of this silly stuff from time to time, we’d like them better. I wonder if William can play saxophone like Bill Clinton. I sort of miss that.

Ok, this is a sport I have never tried, nor am I going to. Jumping off a bridge and nearly bashing my head into the ground has never been my idea of a good time. I’ll stick with beer and football. But apparently a South African man decided to make a jump with a bungee rope made entirely out of condoms, 18,500 of them. Number one that’s a lot of trips to the drug store. How do you explain that you want to buy over 18,000 condoms. “Do you sell condoms in bulk?” “Lubricated or non? Ribbed for her pleasure or yours?” “The strongest you have, I don’t want them to break.” “How many?” “!9,000. I don’t want to come up short.” “Would you like some Viagra to go with that.” “No I’m bungee jumping.” If he wasn’t the talk of the town before, you can bet he was after that purchase. Carl Dionisio, the brainchild behind this says he spent four months knotting them all together with a friend, who helped. He says the cord was based on a complicated mathematical formula he’d worked out. What about a condom would prompt a person to contemplate math. I suspect alcohol was involved. The formula was probably worked out on a bar napkin. They say they had difficulty tying the rope as the knots kept slipping out. Condoms are meant to slip out, repeatedly.  Dionisio says he did it because he wanted to recreate that “virgin buzz” of his first jump. I suspect even more alcohol was involved. His homemade rope apparently did work since I didn’t take this from his obituary. This gives a whole new meaning to hoping your condom doesn’t break. Think of the advertising concepts for condom companies. Think of the secondary market! They’re not just for casual sex anymore. The condom of bungee jumpers everywhere. Could this be a recycling market? Ick, gross, maybe not.

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/world/article.html?in_article_id=143942&in_page_id=64

The old saying goes, there’s no such thing as bad publicity. For hip-hop star Akon, that just might not be true. In a scandal that is sure to rock the musical world, it has been discovered that Grammy winner Akon alias Aliuane Badara Thiam isn’t really a bad ass. In reality, he may have been an Eagle scout that helped little old ladies cross the street. Akon’s first single record release, “Locked Up” was supposed to have been an autobiographical song about being sent to the slam for drug dealing. He claims to have spent four and a half years in prison for a variety of felonies including running a high profile car theft operation, making him an instant hit with the bad boy “gangsta” crowd. Apparently, background checks have revealed a past so scandalous, that it will rock the music world worse than Milli Vanilli did in the 80’s. Yes it’s all a lie. He swiped a Beemer. Charges were dropped. In reality, he’s a good boy. Oh horror. He’s about as bad ass as Vanilla Ice. Minor brushes with the law have provided enough of a record to show he was on probation once. Yep, that’s it, milk and cookies. He made it all up. While most of the world tries to hide their criminal past with pleas of “I didn’t do it,” Akon felt he needed one to be popular. Next thing he’ll be claiming to have killed Jimmy Hoffa just to keep his career alive. Now that this has come out, he will probably end up in some club somewhere singing old Tony Bennett tunes. Maybe Disney will pick him up for High School Musical 3 or get him to sing a title song for a new animated flop. Motown records isn’t answering questions about this and who can blame them. What are they going to say “Sorry, we thought he was a crook.”

Today’s topic is the renaming of Area 51. You know, the “top-secret” Air Force Base in Nevada where they supposedly hid all of the space aliens. The place is also known as Groom Lake, this facility has been a long time source of a good bit of speculation and mystery.  It has been an even bigger source of denial.  First, since the completion of the base sometime in the early 1950’s until 1994 our government denied that the base existed at all.  We didn’t believe them, of course.  And we speculated about what the place might really be and, more importantly why they denied its existence.  Then they said it was a common research facility, we didn’t believe that either, at least the common part anyway. Then it was just a plain Air Force Base. Yea right. Of course now that the U.S. government has finally acknowledged its existence, they have decided to give it an actual name: Homey Airport. It has such a nice down home feel to it doesn’t it. So common, easily overlooked, nothing special about it. The Air Force claims it has no idea where the name comes from, apparently that too is classified, top secret and they’re not allowed to talk about it. I think the idea was to give the place a more hip, up-to-date feel. You know, stationed at “Homey with my homies.” But, as usual the Government is behind the times since the word “homey went out with the ‘90’s along with Vanilla Ice, MC Hammer and “In Living Color.” Maybe it’s a new Air Force plan to gloss over the fact you’re going to be stationed in the most God forsaken place on earth, the Nevada desert. “We’re sending you here, there’s absolutely no one around, nothing to do, you can never talk about it and you’ll never see the light of day again. But, it’s a nice Homey place. You’re going to love it.” Since the recent rash of UFO sightings in Texas and California, maybe they think the new name will attract Aliens better. Possibly a slogan like: “Homey Airport! We’ll leave the landing lights on for you.”

To read the article about this announcement by the Air Force, go here:

http://www.airforcetimes.com/news/2008/01/airforce_area51_newname_080122w/

Keith Richards of Rolling Stones fame, if you don’t know who this is, you’re as dead as Keith looks, has come clean, again, about having snorted his father’s ashes. First he said he did, then he said he didn’t, now he’s back to did. It must be that drug memory thing. Apparently, Keith will put absolutely anything up his nose. I can’t even imagine this, nor would it occur to me to try. Apparently his dad played “got your nose” one too many times with him when he was a kid. This is a quote from Keith: “'I opened my dad's ashes and some of them blew out over the table, just because of the suction of the lid, you know what I mean? I looked at my dad's ashes down there and – what am I gonna do? Do I desecrate them with a dustbin and broom? So I wet me finger and I shoved a little bit of Dad up me hooter. The rest of them I put round an oak tree, which is coming up a treat. And I'm sure he's still blessing me.” The fact that he has no brain functions left is clearly demonstrated here. I have a suggestion, Keith, put them back in the urn. Mixing the ashes with snot is not a memorial, it’s just gross. Next thing you know their next album will feature a tune called “Snort me up.” Actually I’ve always felt that Keith’s brain stopped functioning and flat-lined some time ago. His body is so pickled from alcohol and drugs that it continues to function without the need of firing synapses. Sort of like the dinosaur that doesn’t realize it’s dead yet. They can save the formaldehyde at this funeral. Keith has claimed for years that heroin is the cure for the common cold, because he’s never had a cold. I say it’s because nothing could possibly live in that bloodstream. Of course many things about Keith’s life are questionable. Bill Wyman, bass player for the Stones says that Keith has slept with over 1000 women. Keith says he was never in it for the body count and has no idea how many have crossed his mattress. Has anybody looked at this guy. I suspect the only reason he got any was because he’s a rock star and Mick was busy. The reason he doesn’t know is he has the memory of a tuna. It’s a miracle he knows his name. It’s a miracle he’s alive. Is Keith Richards the source of miracles on earth? Oh my, I’ve found a cornflake in his image.

To check out the article go here: 

http://www.metro.co.uk/fame/article.html?in_article_id=143486&in_page_id=7

It seems, the new craze on internet megasite YouTube, is to do naked blogs. YouTube is encouraging this by giving them a featured spot on their front page, as long as it doesn’t interfere with their obsenity policies. In other words, don’t actually show anything vital. Now being a blogger, I don’t do the video and if this craze takes hold, I won’t be, you should all thank me, I really don’t think this is a good idea. Now the people doing these videos are common everyday internet geeks with no lives that probably can’t get a date on a bet. This won’t help. I looked. I had to do the research for my blog. I wish I wouldn’t have. It took me two hours to refocus my eyes. This has all the sex appeal of a herpes commercial. Frankly, some of these people should be prosecuted under a blight law. One girl had done a video in a Hillary Clinton wig trying to imitate her. Never in my wildest dreams have I ever wanted to picture Hillary naked, not even as a parody. I’m not sure she even looks at herself naked. For most of them, appearing naked is not an enhancement. I was forever traumatized when Dennis Franz showed his butt on NYPD Blue. Talk about bad career choices. (For those of you that don’t remember this heinous moment in television history and have no idea who Dennis is refer to Die Hard 2. He’s the cop that keeps giving Bruce a hard time. The fact that I have to explain that shows what it did for his career.) I think nudity should be left to the porn sites and the bad HBO/Showtime specials. I definitely do not want to see some naked kid with enough metal stuck in his head and chest to qualify as a Terminator talking about the rough time he had in computer programming class. Or why he can’t get a girl. Dude, the video is not helping. Next thing you know the elderly will be getting in on this. Happy Christmas greetings from the old folks home. The grandkids are running around screaming “I’m blind, I’m blind.” The parents are yelling “We wish we were, We wish we were.” The craze is being dubbed – The Nude-o-lution. I’m usually up for a little cutting edge dissidence but from what I’ve seen so far this one is better left on the cutting room floor.

To read more about this and see some of the prime video candidates, go here:

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=143101&in_page_id=2

Recently, Matt Leinart got himself into hot water. That’s hot tub water with four sorority girls. For those of you that are unaware, Leinart is the young up and coming quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals. It appears he has hosted a party at his home that was attended by a plethora of Arizona State sorority girls. Oh horror. Oh Matt, why did you do it? The NFL of course, is annoyed by all of this and so is his coach who has publicly chastised Matt’s behavior. I know why he did it. Because he can! I know why everyone else is upset. They weren’t invited. A photo has escaped that shows Matt holding a “beer bong” for a blonde college girl. (Said photo can be viewed by clicking the link at the bottom of this post.) The photo screams, “I’m drunk, I’m surrounded by babes and we have beer. I love football.” Now keep in mind this was all done in the offseason, at his home, and Matt is single, a millionare, just a couple of years out of college and may have been trying to recapture glory moments of his past. The NFL is unhappy because he’s supposed to be a “Role Model.” Right now he’s mine. Actually, this could elevate him to “Hero” status. Now keep in mind, I am not a Cardinals fan. I am however a mega-football fan. The only issue I have with this is that I didn’t get to go. Vince McMahon, when he tried to make his ill-fated XFL was constantly calling the NFL the “No Fun League.” Let’s see, he wasn’t arrested, didn’t murder or assault anyone, didn’t shoot off his mouth about the NFL being a step above slavery, there wasn’t even rumors about drugs at the bash. No he had a beer party, with lots of hot college girls. Dude, you sooo rock. Hugh Hefner is old. Matt could be the heir apparent. I can see it now, Matt’s house, Playboy Mansion south. Leinart has done males everywhere proud. We are all looking at this going “wow, this just doesn’t suck.” The media may be trying to be politically correct in condemning Leinart’s behavior, me, I just want his address.

 http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/7978376/Leinart-facing-scrutiny-over-Internet-pics

Everyone has heard the comment that Military Intelligence is one of the world’s largest oxymorons. There’s a reason the word “moron” makes up most of this word. Well, this is further proof of that statement. Apparently, in New Jersey, at a military research facility, a piece of artillery misfired and its contents deposited themselves within a New Jersey suburb home. Fortunately the shell was not armed so the house itself is still standing. It did hit the family cat, who is no longer with us. It, at the very least shows, they may have been aiming at something. Maybe it was the cat. He could have been an agent. I remember the old Bond films, Blofeld always had a cat. Then there’s Dr. Evil. I may be on to something here. Shouldn’t they be doing this somewhere like maybe a war zone, an empty desert, a law firm, not in a highly populated area. Oh yea, right, sorry, it’s that Military intelligence thing again. The dud landed about 2 and-a-half miles away from its place of origin during some tests at the Picatinny Arsenal. They say it misfired, but of course what else are you going to say, “Thought we’d take a potshot at the neighborhood, see what we could pick off.” Maybe it went something like this: “Dude don’t point that cannon in that direction, it might be loaded.” It’s OK, the safety’s on.” “OOPs.” “It’s cool man, we’re in the military. We won’t have to actually explain a thing.” And they aren’t, the whole incident, so far, is unexplained from any official source. Another thing to fall victim to the convenience of classified. They probably don’t want to start a panic. You know, the next lucky target for our suburban weapons demonstration program is…  Maybe they need a  motto: Pot Shots R Us. We’ll get you and your little dog too.  Or cat.

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=142355&in_page_id=2

I don’t know what I’m going to do. Tony Blair the rat has died. No, not that Tony Blair, though that may be what is considered a valid opinion of him in some political circles. This Tony Blair is a rat, a real rat. And he’s considered an artist! This rat has been quite a sensation in Britain where some of his artwork has been selling upwards to 1000 British pounds.  That’ll buy a lot of cedar chips for a rat. Apparently the rat chews on things and the owner, Helena Seget, sells them as art. What made her think that crap chewed up by a rat is art is beyond me. “Oh, that looks interesting. Think I’ll just pop down to the gallery and see what I can pick up for this piece of chewed paper.” Chewed Avocado is considered one of his greatest pieces. You realize if we found this anywhere but an art gallery we’d be calling the health department. “Let’s put it right next to the Monet’s honey.” What do you say when friends come over. “Hey Fred, there’s a half eaten avocado lying here. I’ll throw it away.” “No, that’s art.” “No, you left a chewed avocado out. I’ll pitch it.” “No don’t I paid 2000 dollars for that at an art gallery.” “I’ve got a half eaten apple core I’ll sell you for 20 bucks.” Apparently this rat’s fame has spread. The fact that he rates an obituary is amazing in itself. Even more so is the fact that the Discovery channel had just shot a documentary on Tony the Rat. It must have been a slow ratings month. “I have this great idea for a show, a British rat that’s an artist.” “Brilliant, brilliant.” “He chews up garbage and they sell it.” “Brilliant, brilliant.” When Tony died he was working on an unfinished project, a sponge, which Helena says she will finish off and sell post mortem. It was probably chewing on the sponge that killed him. Oh, to die for your art. I suspect now that the rat is dead, this one could go for millions, the last unfinished work of Tony the rat.

To read the article about this go here: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?in_article_id=130000&in_page_id=2

Recently, UFO sightings in southern Texas has run rampant. Locals have been capturing them on video and cell-phones more than the paparazzi have shot Brad and Angelina. The interesting thing is that the UFOs captured on film do NOT all look alike. This has given the impression that there were more than one of them possibly looking for a place to land and something to do. The town of Stephenville, Texas has taken this to heart. They are providing discounts, and welcoming incentives for any aliens that would like to stop, land and visit their little community. One place, a fried chicken restaurant is even advertising free parking for spaceships. Another is providing discounts but the aliens must show IDs. One claims to have a spaceship mechanic on duty for break downs. Where did they get him? Area 51? I’m not sure inviting aliens to your hometown is all that well thought out. Have these people seen Independence Day? War of the Worlds? Invasion of the Body Snatchers? One of the local taverns has a sign: Aliens welcome. We don’t know what alcohol could do to these creatures. We thought drunk driving was a problem. A drunk alien, angry at a bar patron may not just go out to the vehicle and come back with a gun. It could start an interstellar war. We all remember the bar scene in Star Wars, light sabers, blasters, this could get ugly. What about drunk alien pilots? “Pilot to tower, Pilot to tower, we have a UFO coming straight for us. He’s not moving. He’s still coming at us. Oh god he’s going to hit us. No, he swerved at the last second. We’re Ok tower, we’re OK.” Once they get here, who says they’re going to leave. This could present a whole new illegal alien problem for Texas. Remember “Men in Black,” they put them all to work in the post office. Your Christmas gifts could end up on Mars. I think Stephenville should rethink this invitation. If aliens are coming here, they need to apply for passports and visas just like everybody else.

To read more about this go here:

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/01/23/stephenville.aliens.irpt/index.html?eref=rss_offbeat

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK OF CAT POOP COFFEE?

What I am about to tell you is absolutely true. No names have been changed to protect the guilty or anything like that. It appears that a coffee house in London, England is going to be making coffee that has been processed by going through a cat’s digestive system. That’s right, they fish it out of the cat poop. Now here’s the kicker, you only have to pay 50 English pounds (or $100) for this taste treat. O.K. I’m a coffee drinker and I consider myself the adventurous sort. Searching through cat crap for my morning cup of Joe would not work for me. Actually I don’t want my coffee coming from any form of fecal matter, cat, dog, Juan Valdez, his llama, nothing, nada. A man named David Cooper who is supposed to be internationally renowned for his wondrous creations, has come up with this stroke of brilliance. It will be served at Peter Jones’ department store in London. I mention the name so that you know if you stop by there, not to hit the coffee shop. It’s obviously way too expensive and they will apparently put anything in their coffee. Don’t they have a health department in England? The coffee is derived from the Kopi Luwak bean. Kopi Luwak, or Civet coffee, is made from beans eaten, partly digested, and then crapped out by the Indonesian civet cat. Workers collect beans from the plantation floor, wash away the poop and roast them. Here’s my dream job, collecting and breaking up cat crap. I bet their wages are crappy too. Mr Cooper said: “These rare coffees have been slowly hand roasted for around 12 minutes to ensure that we maximize the potential of each coffee. The final roast color is quite dark to ensure that the espresso is perfect for a smooth latte or cappuccino.” Quite dark, yes I’m sure it is, sort of poop colored right? And how about that aroma, essence of litter box. This makes me appreciate my $1.20 cup of generic Columbian so much more. When I visit England, I’m sticking with tea. They don’t pass that through cats do they?

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=139241&in_page_id=34

Ah, the sport of gentlemen. Yes Golf, that game that commands respect, courtesy and reserve. I can see it now, the crowds hushed, the intense putt on the 18th hole, I’m getting sleepy just thinking about it. Well it seems, on a course in western Pennsylvania some older players were trying to reinvent the sport. How, you ask? With good old American violence. Yes, now I’m waking up. This is an actual quote from the local police: “The incident started when one of two men drove a ball from the No. 15 tee. Instead of going straight, the ball veered toward four men on the No. 14 fairway. It's unknown if the two yelled "fore" to warn the four men or if the stray shot hit anyone. Apparently the two men from the 15th tee went over and asked for their ball back. The four men on the 14th hole decided to give them tips on how not to hit them in the future. That’s when the fight broke out. Here’s where the clever reinvention comes in. The twosome, elderly gentlemen of 71 an 62 years of age, started beating the crap out of the foursome…apparently with their clubs. Two of the foursome ended up in the hospital. Sound familiar? What other sport thrives on beating each other with blunt instruments? Yes it’s that Canadian great…Hockey. I can see it now. We’ll call it Gockey. No ice, but all the fun of a good goal line brawl. Picture it, Tiger Woods checks his opponent into the water trap. On the next hole the offended opponent hits him from behind chucking him head first into the sand trap. Now that’s a sport! I think these old guys might be on to something. We don’t have to forget the ladies here either. Instead of sand traps, how about mud pits! Instead of those dorky polo shirts, bikinis. You knew I was goin there didn’t you. We’ll finally have it when the top money winner for the PGA smiles and he has three missing teeth and a nose that goes in two different directions.

For the story that inspired this bit of speculation, go here:

The saying goes, “If you’re looking for a cop, check the donut shop.” Well, apparently if you’re looking for all of the cops, steal a donut truck. That’s what happened in Tama County, Iowa, where apparently a guy by the name of Frank Alvarado stole a donut truck. Actually it was stolen in Illinois and it was Tama County where the hot truck of law enforcement confections was spotted. The local police immediately mobilized…ALL of the police, including one officer who came in his own personal vehicle to halt this heinous theft. Now, when they caught the guy, he was stopped by ramming the truck, the police were given the contents of the donut truck. First, my question is, did they know this would be their reward before they began the chase? “Calling all cars. Calling all cars, Donut truck stolen, Reward offered, contents of truck for apprehension of suspect. Calling all cars. Hot coffee will be served at booking.” Now the other thing that occurs to me is, why a donut truck? I can only put away a couple at a time. Mr. Alvarado ran off with a truck full resulting in a high speed chase. How good are these donuts? There were three different police agencies in pursuit. Are Illinois donuts better than Iowa donuts? “Hey, man, what are you in for?” “Hijacked a truck.” “Armored?” “No Donut.” “Tough luck, man. They won’t even plea bargain for that.” “Why’d you do it?” “Munchies. You know, you’re out partying, you come across a parked donut truck, It seemed like a good idea at the time. I ate 17 before they took me down though. Crème filled.” “You’re a legend, man.”

If you want to read more about this go here: http://www.autoblog.com/2008/03/26/stolen-donut-van-chased-by-cops-lots-of-cops/

The bane of a postal worker is usually a dog. In Wisconsin however, it seems that another animal has decided to give local mailmen a hard time, wild turkeys. Like a local street gang, these turkeys, in groups of 5-10 have been regularly assaulting the friendly neighborhood mail carriers. The attacks from these unruly ruffians have been quite violent. Several have attacked with the sharp spurs they have on their legs and one even attacked the postman while he was still inside of his truck! So what has the post office done to anger these turkeys? Nothing according to the local Post Office head, but one of the state Department of Natural Resources employees has a theory. The turkeys just may have a thing for Postal uniforms. Yes, apparently the birds are a bit kinky. You know what they say about someone in uniform. A regional wildlife supervisor says “It is clearly tied to the breeding season.” Which is coincidentally, right now. All I have to say is these postmen better watch when they bend over. They could have a horny turkey glued to their butt.  During mating season, a male turkey’s head will turn from gaudy blue, to white, to red. Yep, that about covers the colors of the post office. The supervisor’s theory is that they may be attracted to the colors of the trucks, thus inducing a sexual frenzy and a hormone crazed attack. Can you prosecute wildlife for sexual harassment? The wildlife supervisor also says that locals feeding the turkeys may also be causing part of the problem by making them less afraid of humans. It sounds more like to me they’re feeding them vitamin E. The postal workers so far have tried to defend themselves with squirt guns and sticks, but this isn’t deterring the sexual enthusiasm. Personally I say turkey dinner anyone?

To read the article for this, go here:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080407/ap_on_fe_st/odd_postal_turkeys

A New Zealand man, William Singalargh has assaulted a 15 year old boy with a …hedgehog. Yes, I said a hedgehog. I’ve always heard that the Kiwi’s were a bit unconventional, but this is definitely over the top. Apparently it was the only thing close at hand he could throw at the kid. Yes, he threw it at the kid. He couldn’t have picked up a stick? I’m sure this poor little hedgehog was just minding his own business, when this big creature came by and grabbed him, picked him up and hurled him through the air. “Minding my own business, looking for lunch, don’t pick me up, don’t pick me up. Wait a minute, hey, I don’t fly. Yo-Yo, no wings here.” The article doesn’t state what the 15-year-old did to deserve such a strange attack, but it does say he only received minor damage. The local police admit that this is a new one for them. The man is being charged with “assault with a hedgehog.” The only casualty was the hedgehog who was found dead at the scene. They are considering charging Singalargh with animal cruelty, but they are unsure whether the animal was alive before the attack. This lends one to the inevitable conclusion that he may have been throwing road kill at the kid. “You little brat, I’m gonna get you with, with, with, (He looks around) …a dead hedgehog.” Actually he better hope it was dead because if it wasn’t, the British Society for the Preservation of Hedgehogs will go after him. A couple of years ago, they won a lawsuit against McDonalds Corp. over the lids of their Flurry cups. They were just the right size so that hedgehogs would get their heads caught in them when they would try to lick the leftover ice cream out of them. If the B.S for the P.O.H can take on someone as big as McDonalds, Singalargh hasn’t got a hedgehog’s chance in hell. His lawyer says he intends to plead innocent. He faces up to five years in prison. I’m not sure how that one would go over once you are in prison. “What ya in for?” “Assault with a hedgehog.” “I got your hedgehog…”

To read the actual article, go here: